Hot topic #1

This hot topic is a HOT topic.
I mean very heated and in more than one way.

Today I’m going to weigh in my opinion of the heated discussion of: Modesty.

Note, all the following are my own opinions views, interpretations, and conclusions. These views do not reflect the views of all men, or all women. Nor does this view necessarily stand as correct or incorrect. 
All views should be treated as a chance to add perspective and provoke personal thought and development.

You hear so much about modesty. You hear the world say flaunt your sex appeal, show off that body, you’re not attractive unless you look -air brushed, painted, fake, photoshopped,- like this.
Then on the other side of the fence you hear the red hot fumes of the people telling others, especially young women, to cover up their bodies and not show their body at all.

Right wing… left wing. But is there a middle?

Well I’m going to try to phrase my stance on this issue carefully. I don’t mean to step on toes, hurt, or berate people. I wish you all will take my words with heartfelt sincerity that I want you to develop you’re own view based of the research you do, and the influence you have. If my position persuades you to have a similar mind set, then so be it. If my opinion shows you that some people think differently than you do, and you still disagree, then great. As long as you understand the most important part of this: my opinion is just that, an opinion. You’re opinion is just an opinion. There is nothing to fight about it. Take and learn from each other’s perspectives.

Lets start with a history lesson:
The age was a long, long time ago, in a garden on this planet.
Things were great. There was a guy and gal, they pretty much ruled the whole world under the Authority of God.
Then things took a change for the worse. The couple decided they wanted to know the difference between good and evil. Why? Because they decided that they wanted to be LIKE (equivalent, or even superior) to God.
Well they ate a piece of fruit from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. Then BOOM!
All of the sudden they realized they were naked. They were ashamed. Sin was allowed entrance into this world from their actions. This poison now has corrupted the good of the world and brought about all manner of evil.

Because of sin we have good that has been corrupted.
What once was beautiful and shameless became a shame.
Our desires now found intense passions and cravings that were & are not pure.

What do we have now? We have Lust. We have sex driven societies that do not focus on the “one man, one woman for life”. We have people who covet others. We have people who abuse and use others for their own personal gain.

All this leading up to modesty. Of course Modesty seems to only be directed at women.
Which is partially understandable, because men tend to be more visually stimulated and God made women far more beautiful than males, so outward expression of “modesty” falls on them.
But who is to say that women don’t have their own struggles with men visually? Is it nearly as strong as when Men see women? I have no clue, I’m not a girl.

All the information I can give you is based on what I, a twenty year old male, have acquired through observation, struggles, temptation, failure, redemption, grace, motivation, life, and multiple cultures.
I’m not saying I’ve got it figured out. I’m saying let me challenge you’re thinking to help you see things, “from a certain point of view”.

What I can say is what we all know, sex sells. Evil  has a touch of excitement that entraps us.
But what can we do together, male and female, to help to mutually protect and uplift each other modestly?

For one thing I think we can love and respect each other better.
If you have never read Love & Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs then you need to.
This is the key point to solving our arguments, at least in my opinion.
If we cannot love and respect each other then we will continue to follow this cycle of disrespect and unloving behavior.

For me personally I appreciate it when a woman dresses modestly. When she covers herself appropriately.
I’m a young male and God created me differently than females. My struggles won’t be the same (generally speaking) as a females. I won’t claim to know what girls deal with cause I don’t.
But I know I have a Y chromosome, so I’m different.
As a sinful human being I have lusted, I have had impure thoughts, I’m not perfect.
Try as hard as I want I cannot change myself.
But that is the thing, I don’t have to, God can change me.
While I try to grow closer to Him, and develop a greater relationship with Him, the enemy will try to tear me away.
Like any male out there Satan uses the natural beauty of the female to try to entice men away from God.

Now I do agree that if I lust I should be held accountable for my thoughts. A woman should not have to feel like its her fault or feel shame about herself for my stumbling.
But I do commend, and respect a mature christian lady who fears God, and respects her brothers in Christ and tries to avoid dressing enticingly.

So lets get down to business.

Guys: Man up. Take responsibility for your actions, thoughts, and sins. Make the changes you need to stay pure and focus on God. You need His help to break these chains. I know cause I’m in the fight with you. Don’t put the responsibility on the woman, or make her fear her body and feel ashamed. You must love and respect women as God has called us to do to love them as Jesus would.
You’re ultimately responsible here. Now be a man and lets deal with it.

Girls: Ladies… this is a tough one. I want you to know that God made you beautiful and you should have not shame in how wonderful you are. You should glorify Him in your body, heart, and mind.
The issue comes down to this is a world filled with sin therefore this is what I encourage and implore you to do:

a.If you feel ashamed, I apologize for the corrupt minds of men, pigs and gentlemen alike. Its not your responsibility to bear. Realize that you are beautifully and wonderfully made and what God has created as good you shouldn’t be ashamed of.

b. If you are the type of female who would say, “It is a man’s responsibility to bear his struggles and deal with it. I shouldn’t feel afraid to wear whatever I want.” or “Modesty? Why should I have to cover up when women in tribal Africa don’t”?
To you I say be careful. Be very careful. If you are a christian young lady and you’ve taken the stance that you will do as you please and not care about your brothers in Christ you are setting yourself up for disaster.

I came to this conclusion over many different discussions with girls who hold such views.

-first lets start off with a example-
If someone told you they struggled with being an Alcoholic would you take them to a bar? If you knew your friend had a drinking problem would you set alcohol in front of them? Would you offer it to them?
When you read this hopefully you’re practically yelling going, “No! Of course I wouldn’t do that! That is stupid.”

So if you knew a male friend struggled with lust. Struggled with the sins of his eyes, and you knew it… and you knew that he was trying to control himself. You realized that he struggled with this sin but he was making effort to let God take control. Would you have enough respect for him to cover yourself a decent fashion when around him to not be a stumbling block?

Ladies, don’t get me wrong here, I’m not saying that you should dress to please everyone. That won’t happen. Unfortunately no matter how “modestly” you dress some guy will still look on you with his evil heart.
What I am asking is: if you knew a christian brother had a struggle, one that you may not fully understand, and he was making effort to change… would you have enough respect to help him and avoid being a stumbling block in his life?

Guys and girls, if you unintentionally are a stumbling block for your brothers and sisters in Christ be willing to listen when people point out the areas in your life that need improvement.

But if you know that you are causing your fellow believer to stumble and do nothing to change your ways… Just think about that for a second. Reread this sentence.

If you know you’re causing your brother or sister in Christ to stumble… and you do nothing… and by nothing I mean, you could do something and decide you won’t… from my personal understanding of the Bible, I would be concerned.
Because it may be an indication that you have a heart issue that you’ll have to answer for in front of your Creator.

Like anything remember that its a two way street. One side isn’t always the one to blame.

-David Sager


11 thoughts on “Hot topic #1

  1. Please correct one line……(what God has created as good……..should (NOT) be ashamed of). Please put that little word .(..not..).in there . otherwise I thought that your opinion is very good, you just forgot one little but very important word

  2. nice post.

    since you have provided this forum to voice opinion, i just wanted to add that i feel the weight that starts in the *minds* of both m/f when it comes to personal modesty choices. we tend to make modesty outward… but to me it runs deeper;

    Case in point: an inwardly modest girl is infinite times hotter than an outwardly modest girl, b/c modesty is a character quality of the *heart*, i believe.

    At the end of the day, if we could all consider others, we would have less struggle with these issues.

    Thanks David!

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