We’ve all seen it. The bride, the groom, the epic day. The dream come true. Prince charming and Princess gorgeous get hitched.
When we see all these things going on in a wedding, do we honestly start thinking about the future not only of said couple, but our future as well?
Anyone who really gets to know me knows that I’m a love sick, love stricken, hopeless romantic waiting on that perfect love story.
Sure I’ve screwed up my dreams and hopes, but I still dream about it.
Weddings though make me, and hopefully you, ask yourself the important questions.
Now due to the fact that I am a young, single guy, not married, and without kids, the view I will cover will be from the Not married, without kids point of view. In a few years when I’ve had a change in life and perspective I’ll let you know what I think again.
I’ve really begun to think a lot of what I heard my Uncle Jon tell me recently, “Outside of a relationship with God the most important thing a parent wants for their child is a good mate”.
A good mate? A good mate. And no He’s not Australian.
As I pondered that statement, I found it to match my own views for my own life.
I started out my “love search” looking at every pretty face that passed by. Hoping one of the stunning beauties of the world would one day be my queen. Then of course I let myself get pious and help my petty standards up and then cried when the girls that had outer beauty but no inner beauty failed my tests.
As time went on I discovered that my petty standards could be met and raised. By this time I realized that I needed to raise my standards to match that of what I wanted: A godly young christian lady.
Unfortunately I placed my hopes in perfection, and then when I looked in the mirror I saw why I never could attract the “good girls”. For when can a beggar in ratty clothes claim the heart of a princess? – outside of Aladdin and other fairy tales.
So I did a restructure of my thinking. Not lowering any of my standards, but allowing redemption and mercy to cover and take leaps over failures. Why? because I’ve failed too.
Now when I see a marriage I think more about the seriousness of the words. I think about the vow before God and men (women too) that the man & woman make. The weight of till death do us part.
Think about that. What if we actually lived up to our own vows and no one divorced. Hmm?
On one hand that sounds like an amazing thing. Though I’m not for divorce, I can’t help but wonder though how many lives would surrender their callings and dreams because they “married the wrong person”. Or how many people would live miserable lives because they didn’t wait for the perfect one?
Do I honestly think that God has 1 person for us and if we don’t marry that 1 person we don’t live up to our potential? No. Cause their is a ripple effect that would happen there that would screw up time and space in the consequences.
I think that people can make a relationship work based on their believes and hard work to dedication to commitment.
I don’t think marriage should be taken casually. I don’t want people to have to go through divorce. I don’t condone it and say its “right”. I think people should just either take more time before the marriage to double check or learn to sacrifice and never give up after the marriage.
But long story short, I feel like the most important thing any Christian guy or girl could look for is the potential ministry partner, companion, leader, and team mate.
If you can’t see yourself doing God’s ministry with them, and you can’t see them helping you grow spiritually then perhaps you need to think twice about it.
The hard part is when you start comparing people to other people you know. Once you’ve someone who qualifies for your high standard its hard to be as understanding to others who don’t meet the qualifications.
But ask yourself if you should lower your expectations.
Perhaps they are too low and you need to raise them.
I mean, we are talking about a covenant that says “till death” parts you.
That’s kinda serious.
Are you ready to commit your dreams, goals, life, time, money, effort, comfort, and everything about yourself to someone else? If so, shouldn’t you pursue the best? Should you ever “settle”?
Should you not continue on till you come to a place where you feel like you got lucky and found someone out of your league?
Go dream big. Pursue God. If someone comes along and is heading in the same life direction as you, maybe they are there for a reason. You never know.