The month last year that changed everything.
My whole world changed in August. I was offered a job to work in the Computer Hardware Support department for Menards, Inc. This would lead to a chain of events that forever changed my outcome. Within the next month I would challenge my thinking, break off the relationship with the girl I was convinced I was going to marry, and move 500 miles away from family. All in the life of David.
There are so many different points of views and beliefs out there. My question is what was it that changed my life one year ago? Fate? Destiny? Or perhaps Divine Providence.
My point of view would say that it was Divine Providence. Of course what does a twenty-one year old bachelor know? What am I supposed to think? We could argue for years about it. But I’ll just rant today and let you use my example as a point to question your life.
- 1. How do you know that the decision you are making is the right one?
Going through this step one year ago I can honestly say the way you know is that there is a peace that comes with it that is explainable. While that may sound as a cop-out, it is the only logical way to explain it.
The honest man would tell you that I made the decision for all the wrong reasons. That man would have my agreement finally. After a year my conclusion is my decision, though a good one and seeming to be in the direction that God would have allowed, was not made in the right context.
Thankfully the God I serve is gracious enough to love me and use my stupid wrong decisions to make the best transition for me.
Who knows what my life would have been like had I not made those decisions that I did. All I know is the present.
I chose the job I had for three reasons. 1- to prepare for marriage, 2- move out on my own, 3- because it was only job offer that I got after months of searching.
I’ve told many people, so it is no secret, but had this move not caused a lot of questions to be raised, and the realization that I needed to go a different path, I would have been married by now. For me that is a hard pill to swallow. Perhaps it is because the it finally hit me that at this moment in an alternate universe David Sager is coming home to somebody and is settled down.
Knowing myself a little better now I realize that what is the hardest part of that to swallow is that marriage has been a dream of mine. To be a father, and then a grandfather has been a dream of mine since I was 10…. or even before.
The decision that was made was the right one nonetheless. One can’t travel down the road going North-West with someone going East. If life is pulling you in different directions it is best to acknowledge that and figure out how to handle that earlier than later. That was my problem, two people with two dreams, two points of interest, neither one willing to give up their dream quite yet.
Once I realized that we were going different ways I felt like God said it was time to part ways.
We did. In that instant my decision to move for this new job completed something that was outside of my original plan, but under the jurisdiction of another. Not only that but it made the number one reason I moved invalid. I moved to prepare for married life. Here I am, a year later as single as I was at 17. Funny how life works, isn’t it?
While my dream is pushed off, it was for the better. I know that now. I’ve come to terms with it. Even though I had come to terms with it, the anniversaries of the beginning of hard times is never easy.
It was hard, but God was there. It was one of the darkest times, but I grew so much. I broke down emotionally, yet I became so strong. My eyes wept, but everything became crystal clear. Nights were long, but my prayers were strong. Days hurt, but my heart was passionate. I don’t think I have encountered such a drastic change in my mind as that time. This whole year has been a roller coaster of ups and downs.
Would I change any of it? – Only the amount of pain I have caused to others.
- 2. How do you know when you’ve met THE ONE?
This question is the most appropriate question I think every single (unmarried) person can ask any person who is married. It doesn’t matter if you are engaged, dating, single, etc. You should ask a lot of people this question. Especially people who have different backgrounds and beliefs than you.
I was positive I knew the formula. The wish-in-the-well, the sure-fire, I got it right, how to find the one in a million until I started asking deep question. Once I saw the things I had ignored thinking about how they would play into the lives of me, the other person, and potential children, I could not sit back anymore.
But the thing was, I WAS wrong. I’m not with that person. I’m not married. I’m not engaged. You never know how the relationships before marriage will turn out. Guard your heart. It will let you get swept away and torn away without the knowledge of the owner. You must be objective, yet compassionate. Open, yet guarded. Strong and yet willing to be humble.
Since I don’t know, because I was wrong I can’t tell you what to look for, or what to talk about. Any time I think I have it figured out I get slapped down, put in my place, back to square 1. But perhaps that is reason. Perhaps it is/was the best way to humble me and teach me that I don’t have it all figured out. Either way God is good, and I need to follow.
While I wait for madame match, Mrs. complete me, I best get my focus on the one who never leaves and will not forsake me. I can search high, low, and all around but going against God’s time tablet ends up in heartbreaks. My advice…..
To all those who crave for a partner to spend life with, be patient. Even if it comes “late” on your time table God is good and He is ever faithful.