Fallen dreams

I’ve not been inspired to write in quite a while.
I could blame part of that on being busy, which is partially true.
The other part is I haven’t been inspired.

I feel like sometimes the only “good” work I do is my writing. Trolls hate on my music, my monthly videos… What can I say, haters are going to hate and the internet is full of idiots who complain about other people’s work yet can’t/won’t put out better work than you. Let them rot in their whiney behavior. You don’t have to listen to their “opinions”. Don’t let what people think or comment change who you are, and what you love. -Unless you need to change. Then by all means, please do.-

Its been a crazy month.
I’ve gone through all the emotions this past month. Unlike most months I went to a wedding as the Best man. I was on happiness high for the Groom, one of my best friends on this rock called earth.
The next moment I was hit with a first experience in my life.
My grandmother on my Mom’s side passed away. This was the first death in the family that I knew the person.
Looking back I have been so blessed to be sheltered twenty-one years from a close death. This experience led to the first graveside funeral I have ever attended… Also it being the first funeral that I went to where I really knew the person.

Highs and lows. Back to back.
I always try to be open, as much as possible, in my videos, and writings. Why? Because what good is small talk and pleasantries? Meaningful conversations do not contain the initiation and direct response to “How is the weather?” or answering the polite “I’m fine”, “good”, etc. of “How are you doing?”.

Keep that in mind. I jump into conversation. My goal is to make any talk to have depth and weight behind it to make an impact. There is no other way to leave a legacy by small talk and no action.

That being said, I’ve not been inspired to do much for a long time. While I am still clueless as to why the past few months have been good for me.
Between Hillsong, Matthew West, and Francesca Battisteli I’ve rekindled my passion for worship music and leading.
After Grandma’s passing I’ve seen death… close, personal. I’ve questioned who I am. What I’ve done and where I am going.
From the shock of the news, to the denial, to the tears finally breaking me down the day of the funeral I’ve questioned how to handle this loss, and what should I feel…

With all those questions floating in my head I came to the conclusion that I have sat for too long waiting for things to come for me. I’ve waisted so much time and effort pursuing nothing of value. Honestly it is morbidly funny how death changes us. It shapes us into people with perspective. Is it worth the time, and fight, I’ll ask myself. Do I need this or not? Do I have hope that this will change?

I feel more like Solomon realizing that a lot of things are futile and worthless in the end. Are my dreams worth it?
What if my dreams conflict with each other. Have I thought about what I WANT to do.  For so long I’ve let people tell me I can’t, I don’t have the skill, the talent, or ability to do something. I want to change that.

Like my Grandma I want to leave a legacy. I want people to remember me. I want there to be an impact on the lives of others because I decided to do something. To be there. To care. To change.

Life is too short to sit around waiting of things to come to you. While you’re waiting keep serving. Keep on the straight and narrow. Ramble to the internet about your problems. Realize that people will hate, and be rude. Don’t conform to their image of you. Be who God wants you to be.

Go. live your dreams. No regrets. There is no time like the present to make every moment count.

God bless!

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