We as humans love to think of ourselves as invincible. I cannot vouch for you, but I would take a guess that sometimes you perceive yourself as above the law based on your motivations. I know I do. Personally I have to remind myself I am not Batman … many… many times… each day. What I’m trying to say is that each of us perceives ourselves more highly than we out to think.
People are inherently evil. That is just fact. FACT. Don’t believe me? Then do a simple google search of news and you will see the evidence. You might argue that there are “good” people out there. I would agree. There are “good” people. Those people are the ones that have decided to feed the light and fight their demons. The ones who don’t give into the darkness that can so easily sweep us away. Some people struggle more than others. That is just life.
When I realize the truth that people are not good people by pure chance my mind drifts to the lyrics of the Kelly Clarkson song:
“Everybody’s got a dark side
Do you love me?
Can you love mine?
Nobody’s a picture perfect
But we’re worth it
You know that we’re worth it
Will you love me?
Even with my dark side?”
Recently, for the first time I explained to someone how my mind works. My internal struggles. The fight I have with my dark side. Guess what? I found out that this friend does not struggle nearly as much as I do. What does that mean? Am I a bad person? Yes. and no. It just means that I have to fight all the harder to not be swept away. Thankfully I have access to this power that can overpower the darkness and bring in the light. His name is Jesus. His power is what I need to fight off evil.
If I was not a believer I would not be a nice person. I just know that. People close to me might argue that but they don’t know me like I know me.
Jesus is the only power in which I can be a person that is “good”, nice, polite, caring, loving, and just.
All that intro is to lead into the next part of story.
In November I was accepted into Moody bible institute. This was the direction I felt God calling me to follow. While I am wholly convinced still that it is, I did not realize what I was stepping into.
God is obviously working and has something wonderful planned for me. How do I know? Because the Enemy has been attacking like none other. My character, morals, beliefs, and health have been challenged since mid November. I stepped out of my comfort zone and into a war zone.
Some days the darkness seemed too much to fight. At times my mind started drifting into the void. The struggles became real. They became hard.
Now to bring the reason for the title into play.
Thank you. First of all to my Savior Jesus who never gives up on me. Who always hold me, even when I run as fast in the wrong direction from Him.
Second to the prayer warriors who have been praying constantly for me. You don’t realize how much I have needed it and continue to need it.
Third to my friends. To my true friends who reminded me of who I am, of who I want to be. Those of you who encouraged me and held me accountable through this time. No words can describe how much I owe you for your steadfast belief that I could do the right thing in Christ’s power.
Continue to pray for me as I continue in the war. That my service to Jesus would not be tainted by me, myself, and I.
I have a new found respect and meaning of Paul’s description, “…I am the chief of sinners…”. Which makes the words of Hillsong’s “What a Savior” all the sweeter:
“Oh what grace I’ve found in You my Jesus
That my soul should entertain Your greatness
Should this life hold nothing but my Savior
I will praise You, Always”
– David Sager
Just a normal guy who struggles like everyone else.