Façade of good

Human beings are interesting creatures. Western cultures are peculiar in general, perhaps because I know it best and judge it the most that I find it intriguing. Have you ever asked someone in the USA how they were doing? What do you expect from them? Usually we expect this normal answer like, “Alright” or “Good”. If they tend to be either more honest or intentional with their words they might say something else. But rarely do we truly care about that person’s well being. Or if we do generally people don’t care to go into their problems. Why?

Why do we put up this front that everything is okay, even when it’s not?
Perhaps we like others to think we have it all together. Maybe it is because we don’t like being vulnerable. It probably has a lot to do with our culture’s underlying adoration of pride and encouragement of it.  —Disclaimer I’m super opinionated, these aren’t proven facts— We sometimes worry about being a “downer” or people won’t see the good version of us when we are struggling. To some extent we are right if we have this opinion. I say this because Americans are on the pursuit of the Here & Now, the High, and we want to disconnect from the lows. Inevitably we’ve set ourselves and the future generations up for failure. For depression and for the need to be medicated as they struggle with the natural lows. Life without the Lows would be stupid. The mountain tops would be plateaus never changing. I can’t imagine a more dull world. Real life is full of the valleys and mountains, the drop offs, the rock bottoms, and the soaring moments.

How do we become real and open? Well… to be cynical, I don’t think we can change our society overall. We ourselves could work on being real and open and then influence those around us to open up as well… but overall in the USA it won’t happen. Also this won’t happen overnight. The same is true is if you are depressed, you won’t break out of depression overnight. It is going to take time. To quote P90x, “Rome wasn’t built overnight, and neither was your body”.

See what we need to realize is that being open about our problems is going to allow others to walk alongside us and help us in tough times. To either lift us up or show us which direction to run towards the light. When someone admits they are struggling with something they are dropping at least part of the guard and being vulnerable. These people are either honest or horrible at using a façade or mask, if you will, to deny or hide their present state.

Others of us…. are so used to hiding things… we’ve become accustomed to either blatantly lying or putting on a show of how well we are doing. The people who are the most generous, kind, caring, and loving tend to be the ones who struggle the most with depression, anxiety, and pain. No one lives a “perfect” happy all the time life. Even the perfect Man, the Son of God had times of sadness. Guess what? You will too. If you haven’t… you’re lying through your teeth… or mind if you are reading this silently.

Why am I ranting about this? Because I think it needs to be addressed. I’m whining because I don’t have it together. I acknowledge it and am trying to deal with my personal struggles. They aren’t overarching constant issues that affect every single moment but they are some internal struggles that are not easily solved. I’m at war with my mind and heart. My mind races with thoughts and is trying to perceive why I’m struggling in some of the things I am, while my heart is pumping out these emotions or feelings that I cannot point out why am feeling them. In essence I am trying to psychoanalyze myself, though I am not proficient or educated in such methods.

In essence I want you to know you are not alone. Are you feeling lonely? Me too.
Are you angry? I am.
Are you fighting depression? To a small extent I am.
Do you feel inadequate? I do… a lot.
Would you say that you are worried or struggling financially? Guess what? I am too.
As you look into your past do have those spots that bring up a lot of guilt? Yep… I’m there.
Are you struggling with addictions or idols? Yes I am. –oh you’re not? Well take a look harder, be honest with yourself, you are.
Is your pride a problem in your life? Oh goodness yes. My pride is a daily battle. I’d say nearly 75+ percent of my problems come from my pride.
Are you judgmental? I’ll be honest, I am. I struggle with this too. In fact I’ll be honest go back up to struggling with addictions and idols, if you answered no, I would judge you. Just being honest.

But what I want to convey is there is hope. We are not perfect beings, sadly. You can work through some of your problems. Other ones you will need help from friends, family, mentors, or counselors. Then there are those problems that you will not be able to overcome without the help of someone who is perfect and is capable of overcoming your problems: Jesus Christ. Don’t give up. Hold fast. Fight the good fight. You are unique and wonderful in the way you were made.
Life may suck. It might feel like you’re living in hell, and honestly you might being going through hell on earth, but don’t give up. Never give up. Your life is worth living. Why? Because YOU were/are WORTH DYING FOR. As done for by Jesus Christ. The best part is He came back to life after the debt of all our wrongs were paid. The perfect became the penalty to pay and gave Himself for us because He deemed us worth it.
Darling, you ARE worth it. 

-David Sager


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