I should probably start marking on my arm to remember the days. I was keeping track by my blog posts… saving the link open and it would conveniently tell me the day I posted it. It was great. We had this great system going…. till my computer decided it needed to restart for an update, close my browser window and force me to do math. Oh Math… we truly have a love hate relationship don’t we? I love avoiding you, and I hate encountering you.
In the past few days we’ve visited Luther’s church and seen some pretty cool churches in Germany. Currently we are stationed in Wittenburg till… I honestly don’t know. I’m a go with the flow character. I’m not the plan master. Unless we need one. But since there is a plan, an order, and a delegation I just sit and others handle that. I just worry about my own little agenda, like getting school work done, developing friendships, and making sure I get with the group when we are going from point A to B. – which I have a horrible knack for getting lost from the group, but like a good independent child I find my way back. So as long as those few things are accomplished I am doing well.
Now to complain: Have I talked about how bad Germany summers are without air conditioning? Its like Florida right now, but without the beach. And without cold mountains near by. When your body is not designed for summer it sucks. I seriously want fall and winter to come back into play. Maybe I will move somewhere where the weather is always fall like. That would be nice. Hoodies, and pants all the time. I would love it.
To be thoughtful one of the girls on the trip said that she appreciated and admired my devotion to God. To which I am surprised at. In my view I have done nothing to exemplify any great devotion or love towards Yahweh very openly on this trip. Part of this is due to the fact I like to pull away and talk to God in more private matters. The other part that it puzzles me is because this is honestly the time in my life where I am searching not only for God, but for myself. As a child on a rowboat who was navigating a channel of water in their back yard to discovering themselves out in the midst of the Ocean with nothing but a general direction and compass to figure out how to find their destination. My compass is the Bible and the those of faith before me. The general direction is my exegetical experience of God. I know He exists. I know my heart longs for Him. But I’ve come to have more questions about my faith than ever before. I honestly have more doubts than ever before. Tis not the matter of the doubt that I worry, but rather what I do with those doubts that matter.
At the very least I am glad that this adventure of finding myself and my faith is happening now. My life has played out well to the Lord’s direction. Should I have taken my own measures years ago this would be difficult and detrimental to not only my life but also to those around me. If I am ever to be blessed with the charge of training the next generation I need to find my bearings and upgrade this row boat to a sail boat. Ready to glide on the waves of life driven by the wind of the Holy Spirit.
Anyways in closing, keep those of us on the trip in your prayers. Our professors for patience and tolerance of us, crazy students. For the students to stay strong in faith and grow in the wisdom and knowledge of our faith heritage. That all of us would have good health. Then to remember that we are charged with the continuation of the faith. We are the next generation of leaders. We are the lights to run blazing into the night. Pray for our courage and strength to fulfill that requirement with such a great cloud of witnesses.
From Germany, with love,
David C. Sager