I’ve heard it said I talk to much. Perhaps I do.
Many times I’ve been told I share too much. I guess I can see that.
I never thought I’d hear the words though, “You’re too honest”.
What does that last one even mean? In a world full of lies, hurt, pain, wrecked emotions and struggles, when truth is argued as relative, and people fall down before the strength of the dark…. I guess being honest and shedding light is too painful. Their eyes squint as they cannot handle the radiance of absolutes. They shriek as people open up and ask for the fake lives to drop. This up and coming generation sees right through your mask. You think they can’t? You think they see you and don’t realize that you put on a show and strut around like a peacock when you are decaying and broken inside?
Lies… Not only are we telling them to others we are telling them to ourselves.
Listen, I’m going to put it straight forward. I’m honest about who I am here. This is my little corner of space that I’ve invested in to write out my thoughts, to place down the life of a young millennial. Sure I’m older than some, but that’s where experience comes in handy. If you don’t like how honest I am and how life can sometimes suck, then please, by all means read another blog. By chance you worry about me because, heaven forbid I should be so honest… Why don’t you tell that to the person who reads this realizes that they aren’t alone in how they are feeling? Why don’t you tell the depressed person, “everything will be fine”, or to the person struggling with body issues, “You just need to move past it”. Go ahead, tell the perfectionist, “It’s fine”. Tell your brothers and sisters in Christ “I’m doing good” all the freaking time when you’re not. See how well that works. Sure a mask is great, people think you have it “all together”… but at what cost? At the cost of being isolated, because no one thinks anything ever goes wrong with you and then they can’t ever reach out to you when they feel like drowning?
I’m not abdicating full on smothering people with your story. What I am saying is, what are you trying to hide? What are you so scared of people knowing? Are you scared that people might think you’re crazy? A substance abuser, addicted to whatever it is under the sun? Are you terrified that your mind may be so dark, and other people would deem you a danger to society?
No matter who you are, you have a past. You have dark things in your mind you will never say to anyone. I understand that. But unless you’re willing to step out of the dark and into the light, drop your mask and be vulnerable, do you ever think you will be renewed, cleansed, and purified? My challenge to us, is to start cutting the absurd questions out of our conversations that force the American Western world to lie, lie, lie. If you don’t truly and fully care about someone, greet them with something other than “how are you doing?”. Or “What’s up?” I struggle with saying those phrases. I struggle immensely with answering those questions. Not many people actually care enough for a true answer. Even fewer actually want a true answer. They want the stereotypical, “Good.” Why? Cause no one likes to let their mask and guard down.